Title: "Driven" Author: P. L. Heyes~~DangerMom Rated: PG Codes: P/T, J Part: 1/1 Release Date: September 11, 2000 Please do not archive this story. Please keep all credits and disclaimers with it. Thank you. Feedback greatly appreciated. Yes, it's another "came to me in the night" (early morning, actually) piece that I had to get down or lose. And it's definitely based on spoilers (official and otherwise) for "Drive," plus some inspiration from conversations and discussions with two people in particular. Add in the usual wishful thinking and desire to see it done a certain way. There's another scenario that I think might happen in "Drive" instead, but it's too much like what I've had planned for "Passages of Fortune," so I'm not writing that one down! Oh--part of the inspiration for this came directly from things Roxann Dawson said, in public and private. So--Happy Birthday, Roxann! This is a canon (to be?)-based story, and is intended to stand alone. I really don't know if we'll see anything close to this come October. But if it turns out I'm even partially channeling Michael Taylor, they can't sue me, can they? Thanks to Heather and JanD. Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and its characters belong to Paramount. I'm just doing what fan fiction was invented for. (c) P. L. Heyes, September 11, 2000. *** "Driven" P. L. Heyes *** The race was over. Harry was safe, and they were all back on board *Voyager*. The new Delta Flyer was intact--more or less. Lieutenants Paris and Torres were not speaking to each other. Having guided the Flyer into the haven of the shuttle bay, they sat at their stations, going through the post-flight shutdown procedures, almost side by side, yet proverbial light years apart. It was as an uncomfortable, all too familiar situation. Trying not to watch the person you loved, knowing they were doing their best not to look back. Hearing words in your head you couldn't bring yourself to say. Wanting desperately to make everything better, to apologize for and forgive all the stupid things said and done to each other. Realizing for the thousandth time how much love really hurts. Wondering, yet again, if this was going to be the finish. One of them was going to have to speak eventually. One of them finally did. "You promised me you wouldn't do this again." "I know. I'm sorry." She glanced around the scorched interior of the Flyer. "You and your ships. It's a wonder the captain still trusts you with *Voyager*." "Hey," he protested, "that's not fair." "Neither is almost dying--again," she reminded him. He shrugged. "But we made it, even though the odds were against us." "They usually are." "Yeah, but we did it, because--we were together. Because we wouldn't give up, no matter how bad it got, no matter how--angry we were at each other." She sighed, looking at him at last. "But why does it always have to be like this?" "I don't know." He turned in his chair and faced her, holding out his hand. "Can you imagine it being any other way?" After a moment's hesitation, she placed her hand in his. "No, I can't." She leaned forward and kissed him gently. "I guess that means we're stuck with each other." "I guess so," he agreed, slipping out of the seat to kneel beside her. "Despite it all." Despite three years of uncertainty and doubt, passion and tenderness, shouts and tears and anger and joy. In the end it came down to giving and taking, loving and forgiving, putting the pieces back together time and again. She looked down at their joined hands, then into his eyes. "If this is the way it's always going to be, then I think we better do something about it, don't you?" "I think so," he agreed, smiling. She smiled back. They simply looked at each other for a few moments, only a little amazed by how much could be said with so few words. He got to his feet, pulling her up beside him. "Think the captain's got a few minutes free?" "Let's go find out." ****** "Are you serious?" Kathryn Janeway stared at the couple standing before her desk. Faces smudged, uniforms torn and stained, they looked as if they'd been to hell and back. A few minutes ago, she had been on the verge of summoning them, and Harry Kim, to her Ready Room, in order to hear their report on the race and its outcome. But then they had shown up their own, stunning her with a request she couldn't quite believe she had heard. Tom responded to her shocked, incredulous question with a faint smile. "Absolutely, Captain," he assured her. His voice, though strained with fatigue, was strong and confident. "Completely serious," B'Elanna added. A remarkable serenity shone through the exhaustion on her face. These are my impetuous, unpredictable lieutenants, Kathryn reminded herself as she continued to stare at them, nonplussed. They had certainly come a long way in six years, but they were still the wild cards of the crew. Even if something--momentous had happened to them out there today, this could just be a crazy impulse they would regret later--and so would she if she did as they asked and it all went wrong as soon as it was over. "You want me to--marry you? Right now?" "Yes, Captain," they answered together. They both sounded so calm and rational that it was completely unnerving. Kathryn needed help. She looked around the patiently waiting pair to where their best friend still stood by the door. "Harry?" Ensign Kim, also made older and wiser by the years in the Delta Quadrant, didn't appear to be quite as war-torn as the lieutenants. But he did look as wide-eyed and confused as he had his first day on *Voyager*. He opened his mouth, shrugged, shook his head, then finally spoke. "Captain, they grabbed me on my way to Sickbay and just dragged me up here. I didn't know what they had in mind till I heard them ask you." He shook his head again, although a smile was slowly lighting up his face as he stepped closer to his friends. "But if this is what they really want, I'll stand by them." B'Elanna smiled, and Tom reached out to punch him lightly in the arm. "Thanks, Harry." Being faced with a united front was not making this any easier for Kathryn. She could not do this without further reassurance. Gathering her wits, and marshaling the inner strength that had seen her through many a crisis, she looked at them as sternly as she could. "You're certain this is what you want?" Tom looked at B'Elanna. He touched her face, using his thumb to gently rub at a smudge on her cheek. "Yes, ma'am." B'Elanna put her hand on his chest, smoothing his rumpled tunic. "More than anything," she said softly. Kathryn wasn't sure the answers were meant only for her, although they did quiet her fears. "Very well, then," she said, standing up and rubbing her hands together. If they were ready to go through with this, then so was she-- --except something didn't feel quite right. The commanding officer in her felt the need to exert some kind of control over the proceedings, while the romantic side of her nature thought that after all they'd been through together, Tom and B'Elanna deserved something a little more special. "Umm," she faltered, searching for the right words, "wouldn't it be--nicer if we moved to different surroundings? The mess hall, perhaps, or the holodeck? Harry could come up with a lovely program setting in no time, I'm sure." "No, here will be just fine, Captain," said B'Elanna. "Well, a few more...witnesses? Friends? I could just call in Chakotay and--" Tom shook his head. "As long as we've got you and Harry, it's okay, Captain," he insisted. She looked pleadingly at the bride-to-be. "Flowers?" "No, thank you, Captain," B'Elanna answered with just a hint of impatience. Kathryn made one last desperate effort. "Wouldn't you at least like the chance--" she gestured at them helplessly--"to clean up first?" Tom Paris leaned over, placed his hands on the desk and looked her firmly in the eye. "Captain," he said, with such strength, determination and sense of purpose that for a fleeting moment she was reminded of his father, "*now*." She gaped at him. As he straightened up, B'Elanna nudged him fiercely with her elbow. "Please," he added, with the dazzling smile they all knew so well. In a case like this, Captain Kathryn Janeway knew when she was beaten. "All right, let's get on with it," she said, with a smile of graceful defeat. She imperiously shooed the happy couple and the best man up to the sitting area, near the viewport. The backdrop of warp-streaked stars seemed as appropriate as anything. Tom and B'Elanna, who had been unself-consciously holding hands ever since they walked in on her, assumed a more formal position. Harry, smiling in bemused delight, took his place at Tom's side. The captain stood before them, taking a few seconds to compose herself. This was quite a moment, she thought, regarding them with a mixture of pride and tolerant affection. She glanced quickly at Harry, who gave her a confident nod. She took a deep breath. "Let's begin, then." "Captain." Tom held up his hand. "The short version, please. We already know what we're in for." "We've been through most of it already," B'Elanna said, with only the barest bit of irony. That was certainly true--their relationship had survived more in three years than some did in a lifetime. "As you wish," she agreed. It was their moment, and they were certainly bound and determined to do it their way. "We are--present here today--" Somehow, "gathered" just didn't seem right for two people--"to witness the marriage of Lieutenant Thomas Paris and Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres. Tom--" He glanced at her for a second, then turned his steadfast gaze back to B'Elanna. "Do you take B'Elanna as your lawfully wedded wife, for--" Kathryn caught herself just in time. The short version, right--but she felt *something* meaningful had to be said..."For now and for always?" The improvisation seemed to please them both. "I do," Tom said, smiling. "In spite of everything." His addition to the vow gave Kathryn a moment's pause, but when there was no reaction or protest forthcoming from B'Elanna, she pressed on. "B'Elanna, do you take Tom as your lawfully wedded husband, for now and for always?" "I do," she said, her eyes shining, "because I couldn't imagine it any other way." Thrown off again, the captain faltered, knowing there was something they'd overlooked. "Rings?" she mouthed to Harry. He raised his hands in a helpless shrug. "Later?" Tom and B'Elanna seemed oblivious to that little detail, so she continued. "With the power vested in me by Starfleet Command, and the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Tom raised B'Elanna's hand and kissed the spot where he would have placed a ring. She turned his hand over and kissed the pulse-point of his wrist. Then they embraced and kissed in the more traditional manner. The simple, loving gestures took Kathryn's breath away, and she felt tears pricking as she said, "Congratulations--may your lives be filled with joy." They turned to her, smiling--almost laughing with happiness. Then there were hugs all around for her and Harry, who said, "Someday you two will stop surprising me." B'Elanna gave her another hug as Tom shook her hand. "Thank you, Captain." "You're both very welcome--but don't you ever do anything like this to me again!" she warned them, as the captain in her took over from the romantic. "No, ma'am," B'Elanna promised, exchanging an only slightly chastised look with her husband. "And since this was *not* a planned event," she went on firmly, "I'm only giving you thirty-six hours of leave--we do have a ship to run here. You are dismissed, Lieutenants--and I suggest you take the aft passageway." "Aye, Captain." "Thank you, Captain!" Hand in hand, laughing like errant children, the newlyweds departed. Kathryn put a hand to her head and sank down on the sofa. It was several moments till she noticed Harry standing beside her, offering a cup of coffee fresh from the replicator. "I thought you might need this," he said kindly. She took it gratefully, then patted the seat beside her. Harry sat down, folding his hands on his knees. He waited until she had taken a long, fortifying drink, then said, "That was--beautiful, Captain." "It was--unique, Harry," she answered, putting the cup on the table. "I just wonder..." "Don't worry, Captain," he said. Then Harry Kim committed a breach of protocol for which Kathryn Janeway was eternally grateful. He placed his hand on her arm, for only second, in reassurance. "You did the right thing." "They were ready, weren't they?" she asked him. Harry looked away for a moment, at the passing stars, thinking. "Captain, Tom and B'Elanna are the two people I care for the most on this ship. I think I know them better than anybody, yet I don't know if I'll ever really understand them. But yes--they were ready. For whatever reason, they knew the time was right." Kathryn made no effort to smother a heartfelt sigh as she said, "Thank you, Harry. You're going to have to tell me what really happened out there today, but I think a report can wait till tomorrow. You go take care of yourself and get a good night's sleep." He stood up and sketched a salute. "Thank you, Cap--" The whistle of the comm system cut him off. "Bridge to Janeway." Kathryn got to her feet and started back to her desk. "Go ahead, Commander." "Captain, I've got a request from the shuttle bay to launch the Delta Flyer, with Lieutenants Paris and Torres on board." The consternation in Chakotay's voice was painfully evident. "They say they'll file a flight plan as soon as they know where they're going, and that they've got your authorization to leave the ship." She froze in her tracks and turned to Harry, gesturing frantically at him to bring her more coffee. As he complied, she sat wearily behind her desk and said, "Yes, Commander--I did grant them that permission. Let them go, and then please join me." "Very well, Captain," he acknowledged, still sounding perturbed. "Chakotay out." Harry deposited an extra-large coffee mug on the desk, then backed away. "I think I'll be going now, Captain," he said, edging towards the door. "Yes, you are dismissed, Ensign." The doors opened just in time for Harry to sidle past Chakotay with an apologetic smile. The commander ignored him and strode forward, planting himself in front of the desk with his hands on his hips. "I trust you're going to give me an explanation for what just happened, Captain," he said, fuming. "Oh, I intend to, Commander," she replied, smiling dutifully at him. She wrapped both hands around the mug and leaned back in her chair, promising herself to have words with two certain officers in a day and a half. "But I suggest you sit down and make yourself comfortable," she added, nodding towards a chair. "This may take me a while." ******